Call me old-fashioned but I’m not big on calling women “whore” or some permutation of the word, especially women who are trying to do something good for someone. To me the only time it might be appropriate to make such a reference is when a woman has done something especially horrid, like Shana Brown, a woman I happily referred to as a gutterslut when she was caught drugging her 13-year-old daughter so her boyfriend could rape her.
Outside of that level of depravity I think it’s disgusting to call a woman a slut or whore. I don’t care if they are Internet models, porn stars, strippers or the girl you know who is cheating on her boyfriend, it is immature misogyny to call a woman a whore simply because you happen to not like or approve of some facet of their life. It is a crass and unmanly position to take in all but the most extreme circumstances.
Shamefully there are those that disagree and happily attempt to degrade any woman that draws their petty ire. During the ’08 elections I wrote about adult film actress Gauge suffering outrageous personal attacks from her “fans” after writing what was essentially Republican boiler plate about supporting John McCain because she was pro-life and pro-Second Amendment. In that case there was a hypocritical element to the attacks because she was abused with comments like this:
Hey Gauge, I just watched a video of you fucking 5 guys. Please tell us again how wrong irresponsible sex is. I’ve seen a lot of your work but you never had the guys wear condoms. Don’t you think it’s irresponsible to engage in unsafe sex? How many STD’s have you had? Considering how big a skank you are, I bet you’ve had a lot. Well since your boy McCain is crashing and burning, I can’t wait for the election. Obama is going to win in a landslide.
This of course from someone who watches her movies. This liberal, as I said on that post, viewed women like Gauge as de facto sex slaves who perform deviant acts for their pleasure and aren’t entitled to be anything more that a girl on a DVD doing things that are marketed to people whose self-loathing and anger makes them want to see attractive women degraded. I don’t like modern pornography, which has replaced hedonism with humiliation and decadence with degradation, but the people who attacked Gauge are fans of that. They are the ones who should be ashamed, not Gauge.
Now in a similar incident Tila Tequila was apparently called a whore by “Perez Hilton”after pictures of her in lingerie and a trenchcoat showed up on gossip blogs. The rotund celebrity parasite didn’t provide his emotionally stunted followers the context for these photos apparently. It seems the world’s most famous Internet model was raising money for a breast cancer charity:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWNJD7ST7MI[/youtube]
Think what you want of Tila Tequila, and I happen to think she exemplifies Capitalism and American exceptionalism as I’ve said before, but here’s a woman taking time to help the Keep-a-Breast foundation and while doing that she is called a whore by not just a narcissistic star-stalker but by the rabble of ne’er-do-wells who seem to travel from website to website calling this person who they’ll never meet and will have no effect on their lives vile names. My question is why?
There’s an essay by Anton LaVey (I think it’s in The Devil’s Notebook but I’m not sure) in which he examines misogyny and comes to the conclusion that the misogynist is competing with women for male attention, and his anger derives from his failure to win that competition. Using such now eyebrow raising phrases as “closeted homosexual” for men like this he implies that they are predominantly stunted people who live in a permanent state of semi-girlish pre-adolescence. With the ever more misogynist pornography, attacks on female political figures and and the abandonment of the ideas of womanhood being something to respect I think this essay has become more important than ever.
Were this simply a spat between two celebrities this story would be meaningless but Perez Hilton’s brand of envious misogyny has become an acceptable stance for men to have regarding women. One need only check the comments on some YouTube video or article that allows comments to see men partaking in what is essentially gender specific class envy where women like Tila Tequila are claimed to be deserving of abuse simply because they are successful.
The same jealousy and misanthropy that drives class warfare drive the hatred of pretty, rich and famous women who a large segment of our society believes are “whores” for simply living their own lives. That would be bad enough itself but in this instance a woman doing a good deed, one that anyone who has the opportunity to do should do, is being attacked for no other reason than that it is now acceptable to treat women poorly in our society.
Call me “Conservative” but I believe in respecting women, even ones you may not agree with. I don’t believe in infantilizing women by any means, I think respecting a person means treating them as individuals equal to yourself, but I simply won’t accept that it is O.K. for a man to call a woman a whore simply because she has a photo of herself in lingerie when she’s basically a lingerie model. I don’t think it’s acceptable to encourage degradation in porn by buying the mot extreme forms of it, then claim adult film actresses are skanks for working in the industry which you created. I think men should reserve name calling for the Shana Browns of the world, not women who are simply minding their own business.
I’m not a misogynist. I like women, even ones I disagree with, and think that all are worthy of respect. But it seems that this is a minority view these days.
Update: Welcome Tila Tequila fans! Due to a surge in traffic to the site, comments are taking a few minutes to appear. Please be patient, and thanks for reading.
*gives virtual round of applause*
Your mother raised you right, my friend.
tila u rock!
Thank you Vee.
We need more people who think like you in the world, well-written and speaks for all that means well.
Keep up the good work my friend.
Ive been hatin on tila for a while, but this goes 2 far…kudos 2 her for the charity work, as much as i dont think shez a bad bitch, dont let a hater get u down, stay strong nigga!
look i dont think she should e called a whore just cause she was donating a cast to do charity work…
she may be a crazy outgoing person but that still dosen’t give ANYBODY the rights to be called a whore or anything cause its just retarded…
people think they look awsome calling other people that but it’s just straight up rude nd just a waste of someones breath…
tila is what she is and EVERYBODY has to accept it… NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I love it….! Good Read.
OMG Tila tequila needs to get O V E R IT! Perez hilton talks shit about everyone, you don’t see everyone dwelling over it do you? Get over it bitch, you are a whore! Just watch season 1 and 2 of shot of love, there’s your proof. And she’s an ugly whore too!
tila is seriously an amazing caring person.
everyone knows that, and that she actually cares
about each and every one of her fans.
have you read her book yet??
she is a seriously amazing woman, and i would
give anything to meet her in person.
she is my true hero,
oh and FUCK PEREZ HILTON.
he is just jelous of tila.
=]]
XOXO
rog.
Good Read….I love it.
i dont think mayra actually read the article.
i love ur tits
first of all i want to disagree on something
#
liz said,
on April 9th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
look i dont think she should e called a whore just cause she was donating a cast to do charity work…
she may be a crazy outgoing person but that still dosen’t give ANYBODY the rights to be called a whore or anything cause its just retarded…
people think they look awsome calling other people that but it’s just straight up rude nd just a waste of someones breath…
tila is what she is and EVERYBODY has to accept it… NO MATTER WHAT!!!
i agree tila rocks and everything but she used the word “retarded”
thats a horibble thing to say becuase you cant call people retards its logically wrong unless you have a diseases
btw thank you for writing this article anither person that will always be in mt heart
Honestly why do any of you care who Tila goes to bed with at night. Tila’s Shot at Love was for entertainment purposes and personally I thought it was awesome. I kept wanting to see what was going to happen on the next episode. She’s an enpowering woman and should be a role model to us all that any of us can accomplish our dreams!!
tila obviously isnt a whore and whoever said she was must really hate themselves to even say something jus cause they want something that they dont have!!!…it jus shows that those ppl like that out there really cant live with out saying something about someone so stop hating and saying things you dont even know…it just shows how immature you are!!!
so i got a message for all you ppl out there like the person who said Tila Tequila was a whore:
GET A DAMN LIFE!!!!!
MAN ALL I HAVE 2 SAY IS I’M TIRED OF THIS SHIT OF PEREZ VS. TILA HE NEEDS TO LET IT GO I LOVE THE FACT THAT SHE CAN USE HER TITS FOR A GOOD USE LIKE THAT I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR AND I THANK PEOPLE LIKE TILA FOR DOING THING LIKE THIS DAILY THEY DON’T HAVE TO BUT CHOOSE TO TAKE TIME OUT OF THERE DAY SO PEREZ BACK THE FUCK UP AND GET OFF HER COCK AND IF YOU EVER HAD A SICKNESS BEFORE THAT COULD HAVE TAKEN YOU FROM YOUR FAMILY YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THANKFUL AS WELL. YOU WERE HER FRIEND THEN AND NOW YOU TURNED ON HER AND THAT JUST PROVES HOW MUCH OF A SISSY YOU CAN BE ALWAYS TRYEN TO STAB SOME ONE IN THE BACK. LOVE YOU TILA JUST A FAN CRAZY BITCH!!!!
I agree, Mayra obviously does not see the point of this article. Tila doesn’t CARE what Perez says, but we, as her fans and some of us friends, DO! I’m glad that Tila was comfortable enough to go out there and be “casted” for a good cause, and a gentleman’s bow to her for that! Perez and people like him that condemn others simply because his life does not add up to what he’d like really need to find something else to do in their lives. Honestly, though, where would Perez be without the people who read his vile work? But I digress; the point is, Tila did the right thing here, and people want to make her feel like shit for it, so I say FUCK ‘EM ALL!!!
I agree, Mayra obviously does not see the point of this article. Tila doesn’t CARE what Perez says, but we, as her fans and some of us friends, DO! I’m glad that Tila was comfortable enough to go out there and be “casted” for a good cause, and a gentleman’s bow to her for that! Perez and people like him that condemn others simply because his life does not add up to what he’d like really need to find something else to do in their lives. Honestly, though, where would Perez be without the people who read his vile work? But I digress; the point is, Tila did the right thing here, and people want to make her feel like shit for it, so I say FUCK ‘EM ALL!!
great article. yes, it does seem like a minority view these days!! that is really too bad. I hope the world gets more educated and stops hating on women for stupid shit and being hypocrites.
Thank you for being one of the few that can actually speak up for what’s right.
very well put. fantastic artical.
Great article.
Tila is an amazing women and she dose’nt deserve all of this negativity.
And for the people who left comments that were mean and to haters: Try learning how to spell. Also writing a hatefull message behind a screen will not make anyone like you, make you pretty, or improve any aspect of your self.
wow you are awesome 🙂
i love your article and like someone else said, you were raised very well
tilas only helping out charity it doesnt make her a whore she wants to do something good for the community.
Here is my reply to Tila on the topic and I think that the writers of this piece might take it to heart as well:
Perez Hilton is human garbage, we agree on that much. That said, if you are into women’s rights why not use the attention that you’ve generated solely by objectifying yourself as a platform to display some sort of talent that justifies your fame? If you can do that you can at least partially be a role model for someone. Beyond that, you (& Perez, for that matter) are just showing how dumbed down we have become as a society. The fact that either of you are in the spotlight is shameful. There is no hope for a starfucker like Perez, but could you maybe see the distinction between “smart & strong” and “classless & desperate”? You speak of haters but your bulletins are, without exception, either self-aggrandizing or angry tirades. Can’t have your cake and eat it too. If you are going to go after the Perez Hiltons of the world I salute you but you need to pull yourself out of the “fame whore” gutter that the two of you currently share in order for your words to have any credibility whatsoever. Rather than dismiss me as a hater and ask why I read, could you maybe answer me? I’m curious to hear your thoughts and am 100& convinced that you are smarter than what you allow people to see.
I really enjoyed this article and I agree completely
I’m so glad people are writing articles like this. Its not fair to mock Tila like that. She was HELPING! Thank you for putting out the word!
People like Perez act that way because they’re JEALOUS of what Tila has. She has an intelligent mind, a caring/giving soul, a killer body, and an adoring/loving fanbase and friends! Love you, Tila. Keep doing what your doing!
I am SO glad you posted the link about the bitch who did that to her daughter. I am so tired of people like this Perez person spending every waking moment tearing down celebs who aren’t kissing his ass while stories about child rapists and sorry excuses for women like her are buried under this kind of b.s. He attacks a woman for using her assets (I can just see him roll his eyes with his hand on his hip flipping his imaginary locks and sucking his teeth in a jealous sneer) for one of the greatest causes (WTF has he done?!) while there are mothers out there selling their children for drugs and beating their children to death because of spilled milk. He’s such a hero!
Look, you and I know what the definition of the word “whore” is. The simple fact Perez Hilton ( with his thinly veiled attempt at cashing in on the popular name in what one can only assume is a gender confused moment) attacks her in this fashion by using the word “whore” for a simple showing of the flesh leads one to conclude: He ain’t gettin’ any! (Not that he would actually know what that means with a female.)
Honestly, the only thing that irks me about this is that bitch boy is just another materialistic nobody acting like fashion and Hollywood gossip are the most important things in the world. If I were Tila I would find any posting by him as another opportunity for hysterical laughter. I mean, let’s face it – it’s nothing but a jealous rant by a person pissed off at being born with the undesired sex organs. Instead of going out to earn enough money to pay for the sex change operation, he’d rather sit on his ass and bitch about those of us born with it.
I’d say Mayra is either his female persona or just another screwball who doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “whore” – possibly because she hasn’t gotten any, herself, due in large part, I’m sure, to the massive corn cob removable only by invasive surgery.
You know my feelings on the Gauge stuff and honestly, I don’t see her in the same category as Tila (unless Tila is, also, a porn star famous for her unnatural fetish films). Regardless, to call a woman a whore just because you don’t like them is something typical of what progressive women were called back in the day when men still believed that word could succeed in keeping us down.
It’s a brilliant post, Rob, as so many of yours are, and has so many levels for anyone willing to look.
I’m not sure who is to credit for influencing your respect for women, but I know what it is to work with you in what we do. In that respect, I know you are the way you are currently because you are just a truly amazing man who actually gives a rat’s ass about things too many men have forgotten or simply don’t care about anymore. You are a reminder to men of what the male of our species is supposed to be: protector of women and children, defender of the “village,” and ass kicker to those who try to do any of that harm. When men attack you for it, it’s only because you exemplify what they have failed to accomplish.
By the way – She does know you’re, like, her obsessed fan boy, right? LOL! I couldn’t resist 😛
Katie-I would gladly answer you but your questions are to someone else. However I will say that it isn’t classless to be a model, which is what Tila Tequila is albeit she’s transcended the genre of Internet model though a savvy business plan. What’s wrong with that?
How is success not evidence of talent anyway? Are you doing something more successfully than her? Or me for that matter? I frankly doubt it. Tila Tequila parleyed web savvy and some appearances of television into a small empire. I’m not as successful but I do sit in my office all day making a living by writing out my opinions. It’s a good life.
What about you? Aside from lecturing people who may or may not ever read your comments what have you done that proves you’re more talented or smarter than Tila Tequila?
katie: I sincerely hope that message wasn’t in any way directed at Rob. Truly. If any part of it was, I invite you to browse his posts a bit more effectively to understand what kind of man, what kind of human being Rob is before you come across as an even bigger ass than you may have made yourself to be. Again, this is if you’ve addressed this in any fashion toward Rob.
As for as what you said about Tila: What have YOU done, katie, to better the world?
“OMG Tila tequila needs to get O V E R IT! Perez hilton talks shit about everyone, you don’t see everyone dwelling over it do you? Get over it bitch, you are a whore! Just watch season 1 and 2 of shot of love, there’s your proof. And she’s an ugly whore too!” – Mayra
# All Tila Tequila pretty much did was post a link to this blog.
#2 She’s not speaking against his words against her, but his words against women in general. Did you not read this article?
#3 There are so many dating shows (such as Elimidate, Next, etc.) in which men are being promiscuous, but people would not call these guys “whores.” Sure, there would be plenty of people responding in disgust, but they would not be stigmatized or dehumanized the same way women would be.
Your name makes you sound like a girl. A feminist once claimed that many women are willing participants in their own enslavement. You are proof of that.
VIVA LA TILA
Lets face facts a whore is someone who sells there body for sex, Tila has sold her body for sex she has been in a couple pornos, she is not a model she is a whore cmon people open your eyes here!!!
While I would like to agree with the evident attempt at nobility of purpose and masterful, confident defense of liberated, attractive and successful American women as this article writer suggests, and Tila Tequila concurs, I find myself holding reservations galore. Since I am now in my mid-50s, maybe it is generational. People my age and older, did not live lives saturated with 24 hour, 7 days/week and Internet easy sexual titillation and prurience. All you have to do, is watch a Doris Day movie, to understand what I am talking about. Playboy magazine and that whole schtick did not just liberalize American culture, it BECAME the Culture here. To the extent that people in the Entertainment Industries believe in, and live out, their lives according to these entertainment industry guidelines, Yes, I Will Object. My objections are vast and far reaching, when it comes to American cultural failures. Americans may be comfortable with our culture, living within it as we do. But for Americans who are old enough, are well travelled enough, or studious enough of our own History of Western Civilization, to understand these changes, and to place our current American culture in context, there is plenty with which to take issue. Mind you, I enjoy Tila Tequila, and Gauge, and Paris Hilton. I liked Tila’s adventures in fighting breast cancer: the video; I enjoyed watching a Gauge porn film short on LimeWire; and I wrote a letter to Jay Leno defending Paris Hilton from his incessant and demeaning, televised and scurrilous public attacks. I did the same by calling the local Family of Jimmy Kimmel’s Girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, to object when she trashed Paris publicly at a Hollywood staged celebrity awards event, the night before she went to jail in Los Angeles for a very minor infraction, adjudicated by a highly injudicious judge and court of public opinion. However, Americans would be far better off without our domestic Feminism, in my considered view. Women are not better off now, children are far worse off, men are suffering from a cultural correctness that trashes them constantly and completely, and I for one am totally sick of it. If you cannot see the person as a whole person, Man, Woman, or Child Born or Unborn, than the problem is definitely with you and your Ideology, your Politics, your Political Correctness, and yes, your Media/Entertainment Industry Conceits.
I totally agree with you..it was for a very good cause and should not be judged the way it was. Great job my friend!
Would have been nice to have had the proper shout out by Rob, but he finally did give me the link. Tila has joined Lily Allen in being the only two celebrities I know who have openly defied Mario Lavandeira aka perezhitlon.com and I am proud of them.
Thank you for re-posting this information Rob.
Liz Silver
Rob, thanks for your reply. We know Tila wouldn’t come near a post like mine anyway so I’m happy to talk with you 🙂
I would totally agree that it isn’t classless to be a model. It’s all about how you carry yourself, which is true in a lot of careers. I have met classless doctors, lawyers and professors despite the fact that these are noble professions. There are many types of models: runway models, swimsuit models, fashion models in magazines, etc. Tila is a model of the “look at my tits” variety. She caters to the lowest common denominator by appealing to people’s basest needs in the way she presents herself. If the nature of her photos leave any doubt as to that then her posts and her trashy show on MTV do more than their share to erase said doubt.
I am a college student and as such am not doing something more successful than Perez Hilton either. Does that somehow make what he does legitimate? Surely Perez is more successful than you in terms of reaching people with his vile form of “journalism”. Is the validity of one’s opinion directly tied to their gross income? Please let me know if you do feel that way but if you don’t let’s agree that that is a cliched “last ditch effort” defense that often pops when lack of merit is attacked and there is nothing of substance to refute the attack.
Tila Tequila parlayed (note spelling) the generosity that MySpace showed her early on, by overlooking her use of bots and giving her extra attention, into something profitable. I give her credit for being an early adapter on the site but she hasn’t shown a great deal of poise or class in harnessing the attention that she has been granted. I assume that you read her blogs and bulletins as well?
As I said, I’m a college student at the moment. Explain how my opinion is “lecturing” and your isn’t? Does the answer to that once again come down to the paycheck? If someone with a lower IQ than I points out that I have shit running down my leg should I dismiss them and wear it proudly? Do tell…
-Katie
PS- props on quoting the Devil’s Notebook. The essay you refer to is called “Confessions of a Closet Misogynist”. That collection is great reading, particularly the essay “Let Me Entertain You”, in which he describes how to set up a ridiculously corny “Satanic” themed scenario to engage visitors who know little about Satanism by presenting all of the most ridiculous stereotypes while attempting to maintain a straight face. His sense of humor was greatly overlooked and he is missed by many….
OKAYY SERiOUSLY!!! THE ARTiCLE WAS STUPiD… i CANT BELiEVE i SPENT TiME TO READ SOMETHiNG LiKE THAT! DONT GET ME WRONG!!! i LOVE TiLA AND i LOVE THE FACT THAT SHE WENT AND GOT CASTED FOR KEEP-A-BREAST FOUNDATiON!!! iT KEEPS AWARENESS AROUND THE WORLD!!! BUT TO CALL HER A WHORE FOR THAT…. DOES THAT MEAN EVERY WOMAN WHO GOT CASTED ARE WHORES?? i DONT THiNK SO!!!! YOU GUYS NEED TO GROW UP AND STOP TALKiNG SHiT ON PEOPLE. iTS NOT HiGH-SCHOOL!! NOT SAYiNG i LiKE PEREZ HiLTON!!! CAUSE i DONT… HE’S PRETTY MUCH A LOW-LiFE… TO SiT THERE AND DEGRADE PEOPLE ON THiNGS THAT THEY DO iN LiFE…. EVERYONE DOES STUPiD SHiT!! THATS LiFE! AND iM SURE BEiNG FAMOUS DOESNT HELP BECAUSE YOURE EVERY LiTTLE THiNG YOU DO iS MAGNiFiED 10 TiMES FOLD!!! YOU KNOW MUCH STUPiD SHiT EVERY-DAY PEOPLE DO AROUND THE GLOBE 24/7??? WHY ARENT THEY BEiNG CALLED NAMES AND DEGRADED???
Liz-If by re-posting you mean fixing a typo (as I explained to you before) then you’re welcome, but if your implying that our posts are similar then as I said to you, you haven’t read mine.
Michael: Your entire post that was starting to garner some empathy deteriorated at this moment: “However, Americans would be far better off without our domestic Feminism, in my considered view. Women are not better off now, children are far worse off, men are suffering from a cultural correctness that trashes them constantly and completely, and I for one am totally sick of it. If you cannot see the person as a whole person, Man, Woman, or Child Born or Unborn, than the problem is definitely with you and your Ideology, your Politics, your Political Correctness, and yes, your Media/Entertainment Industry Conceits.”
You cannot see a woman as a whole by reverting back to the Doris Day era, and if that is how you think women should be seen “as a whole,” no wonder you don’t like women of today. We’re much too strong and secure for the likes of you, who would like nothing better than to go back to the time when women were *coughbullshitcough* “content” in the kitchen and pregnant with their 5th child. Not going to happen, dude, so get over it.
Granted, I don’t see how a woman spreading her legs for men – or other women – on film is in any way a step forward for our gender. However, a woman has just as much right to be as sexual as she damned well pleases, just like men have been and have long feared their woman becoming. Why? Because at the point women started exerting their freedoms – sexual and otherwise – we began to see past the charade men had portrayed for so many years of women being inferior in every way. Men became afraid because they knew women were dominant in so many ways and equal in others. This is what men like you fear and why men like you ridicule men like Rob.
The Rob’s of the world are in no way threatened by strong, independent women, and it is the Rob’s of the world who make us happy and turn us on. Too bad for you.
If Doris Day is what you want, dear, there are plenty of religious cults ready to take you in where women mean little more than sex machines and baby makers. Enjoy.
Although what Perez said was pretty low, you shouldn’t just assume it is because he’s jealous. He’s just doing his job. But he should have looked more deeply into the matter before putting Tila down. But if anyone truly wishes to comment on the situation you must look at it through all angles. And to those who left disparaging comments about Perez, well you are no better than him. Let’s be mature enough to realize that Perez made a mistake, however big it was. I also see how his comments were degrading to women. I am almost certain that if had been a male celebrity in nothing but a banana hammock and a trench coat on he would have paid no attention to the picture or would have at least looked into it a bit, but because it had been a woman, a pretty promiscuous one at that, he did not even bother to do so. I’m asssuming that he thought he had the story all figured out just from the picture. And that is another mistake he made, assuming Tila was just being a whore and totally diregarding the good she was doing.
Jade-Not sanctimonious at all.
One question though. How do you know she’s “promiscuous” and even if she was is it “mature” by your own standards to blurt that out?
I can understand both points of view…
I think Tila is a whore. And I DID READ HER BOOK. the book just proves that she is one. but she shouldn’t get harrassed for charity work.
What a fantastic article, thank you! As a young woman it is so encouraging to know men with attitudes like yours are really out there.
You are a REAL MAN!
Great article, I support it all the way! This gives me hope that I will one day meet a man that understands women like you do, and will truly respect and love me, for me.
tila will you be honor to be my girlfriend?
Tila u keep up with the good work fuck who ever hates on you!!! i love that u r doing charity 4 breast cancer!!! every women out their is thanking u that has or had breast cancer keep it up!!!
I think it’s rather fascinating how you mentioned Anton LaVey. I’m pretty sure tons of people who have read your article have no clue who he was. 😀