Where the northeast from which I hail has 24 hour diners, here in the south the ubiquitous Waffle House is the place to go for a late night hamburger or an insomnia induced coffee run. I just got back from one a few hours ago, around 3:00am. The food is fair, the customers (as you’d expect) tend to be drunker than I like but the waitresses have always been nice to me and my wife. But then again I’m not Crystal Samuels.

Crystal Samuels, pictured above, was at a Waffle House somewhere in Clarendon County, South Carolina. She was with a few of her, shall we say robust, friends who either brought food into the Waffle House or had ordered to-go food but began eating it at the counter. A waitress named Yakeisha Ward took exception to this, words were exchanged and classy Crystal Samuels threw a waffle at Yakeisha Ward.

You read that right. She threw a waffle at the waitress.

Needless to say, Ward taught Samuels and company an important lesson in manners:

That’s when it got ugly. Samuel says she threw a waffle at the waitress. “I did actually throw some food but it didn’t hit her,” says Samuel. “That’s when she (Ward) jumped across the counter and we got into it,” says Samuel.

Clarendon County Sheriff Randy Garrett says the altercation continued outside where he says Ward got a gun from her car and a gun magazine from her trunk.

“It’s poor judgment on her part trying to settle this matter with a weapon. either way she had time to think about what she was doing when she was walking to her car,” says Garrett.

Investigators say Ward’s gun discharged during the altercation. They say a bullet fragment struck Samuel in the arm.

“Deputies were close by when they rolled up in the parking lot the victim and the suspect were still engaged in a fight,” says Garrett.

Before it ended, authorities say Ward struck the victim in the head with the gun.

I’m loath to suggest Samuels deserved a pistol whipping with a loaded gun of course. Ward should have left the gun unloaded (safety first after all) but Samuels and her rude friends had that ass whippin’ coming.

Breitbart has video of Samuels proudly recounting how she drove a waitress to attempted murder which is sure to make even Al Sharpton cringe. Crystal, I’ll say this so you can understand it: how you gonna’be proud of making a waitress beat your ass in a parking lot of a waffle house?

Stories like this make it nice to be able to “pass” if you know what I mean. But on behalf of Black folk with dignity everywhere I just wanted to say thanks for making us look good Crystal. Maybe next week you can get a bank teller to come after you with a bat.