John and Carol Race have five children and want to raise them to be Catholic. They attend Mass every Sunday with the family in tow, including their Autistic son Adam who is 13. He’s also over six feet tall, weighs in at around 225 and is sexually aggressive, violent and incontinent.
The Church has attempted to find an accommodation wherein the family’s spiritual needs are met while the other parishioners are protected from Adam, who is often out of control, but the family remains obstinate in the desire to inflict needless danger and chaos on the rest of the community, so the Diocese of St. Cloud did what must be done:
Standing more than six feet tall and weighing more than 225 pounds, 13-year-old Adam Race cuts an imposing figure for his age.
Adam is also severely autistic, and his meltdowns during mass at the Catholic church in Bertha, Minn., have prompted a public battle between the parish priest and Adam’s parents.
The Rev. Daniel Walz, disturbed by what he said is Adam’s dangerous behavior, filed court papers to bar him from the Church of St. Joseph with a temporary restraining order against his parents. The Races are ignoring the order, which they see as discriminatory, and getting support from advocates for the disabled.
The battle started last summer, according to Adam’s mother, Carol Race, when Walz came to the family house along with a church trustee and “made kind of a federal case out of the situation with my son.”
The church counters that it “explored and offered many options for accommodations that would assist the family while protecting the safety of parishioners. The family refused those offers of accommodation.”
As you’d expect from parent of the year material they put the blame on the people complaining, not their “nuanced” approach to parenting:
The Races and their five children typically sat in either the church’s cry room or in the back pew to avoid disrupting other parishioners since they began attending in 1996, according to Carol Race.
No one had complained to them about Adam until the priest’s visit last June, she said.
“He said that we did not discipline our son. He said that our son was physically out of control and a danger to everyone at church,” she said. “I can’t discipline him out of his autism, and I think that’s what our priest is expecting.”
The family continued attending mass, she said, trying to calm Adam and leaving during the closing hymn to avoid interacting with other parishioners on the way out.
[…]
The family continued taking him along, however. Then, last week, Carol and her husband, John, were slapped with the restraining order. The following Sunday — Mother’s Day — the family brought Adam to church anyway. Carol said a police officer cited her this week and she is scheduled to appear in court Monday.
A call to the parish office was not returned Friday. A statement released by the Diocese of St. Cloud said the church filed the petition “as a last resort out of a growing concern for the safety of parishioners and other community members due to disruptive and violent behavior on the part of that child.”
I’m no expert on Autism but not disciplining a 225 pound kid who likes to raise a little hell just doesn’t seem like an option, especially in an environment where people can get hurt. But I guess that means I’m being bigoted against the Autistic because I don’t think Autism is an excuse for this:
Walz, the church’s pastor for three years, said in an affidavit that as Adam has grown, the situation has worsened, and the boy has been “extremely disruptive and dangerous” since last summer.
Walz alleges that Adam struck a child during mass and has nearly knocked elderly people over when he abruptly bolts from church. He also spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights efforts to restrain him, Walz wrote.
The pastor wrote that Adam’s parents often sit on him during mass to restrain him, and sometimes bind his hands and feet, pulling a rope under the pew so his father can control the line from behind.
Walz wrote that Adam once pulled an adolescent girl — an exchange student staying with the family — on top of him, grabbing her thighs and buttocks. And, at Easter, Walz alleged, Adam ran from the church, got into the family van and started it, then got into someone else’s car, started it and revved up the engine.
“There were people directly in front of the car who could have been injured or killed if he had put the car in gear” Walz wrote.
Not surprisingly Adam’s mother remembers things differently. Oddly, even though she’s basically accusing the Church of lying about her precious angel she’s hell-bent on remaining in a Church that is supposedly persecuting her.
Like I said I’m no expert on Autism but I am well versed in dangerous behavior. Despite Carol’s minimization of his outbursts Adam Race is clearly dangerous, and unless you accept the preposterous notion that the Church is lying about the severity of his actions there’s no reasonable person who can claim that it is incumbent upon a community to endanger themselves to accommodate the Race family.
Autistic advocacy groups are taking up Adam’s cause, but I hope for every-ones sake, including Adams, the order is enforced and Adam gets the help he needs. The alternative is to wait until he’s hurt or killed someone.
h/t Crime Scene KC
This isn’t a kid just making a few noises. According to AP, “Adam struck a child during mass, nearly knocks elderly parishioners over…, spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights when he is being restrained. He also… assaulted a girl by pulling her onto his lap.†When he started two cars in the parking lot, “people could have been injured or killed.â€
The church has tried to accommodate, but the behavior has become more dangerous. It’s not the boy’s fault, but his own parents cannot always control his behavior.
I doubt that even Jesus would condone the enabling of such dangerous and disruptive behavior — posing great risks to others and self — in the name of “acceptanceâ€. This is sloppy agape.
Someone can be seriously injured. The pastor has definite moral and legal responsibilities to protect everyone from harm. If some child or elderly person were injured, there would be a major lawsuit. “I was practicing inclusion†would not be a defense for reckless endangerment.
In a perfect world, everyone would be welcomed everywhere. But if I had a highly communicable disease, say TB, I’d have no right to mingle in large crowds where I posed a serious threat. And I think Jesus would agree, notwithstanding that he loved everyone.
One’s right to inclusion ends where others’ rights to safety begin. Is it unreasonable to ask Adam’s parents to accommodate everyone else’s rights to public safety and undisrupted worship?
Agreed. The Church isn’t telling the family they’re excommunicated, just that Adam has to receive his religious instruction in an environment where he won’t hurt anyone or take away from the experience of other Catholics. It’s the family that’ being unreasonable.
And frankly the Church is private property; no one has a right to be allowed on someone else’s private property.
“I’m no expert on Autism but not disciplining a 225 pound kid who likes to raise a little hell just doesn’t seem like an option, especially in an environment where people can get hurt. But I guess that means I’m being bigoted against the Autistic because I don’t think Autism is an excuse for this”
Your no expert? You actually appear very ignorant of Autism. As in you know nothing about it. A severely autistic child needs discipline. Go spend some time with an Autistic child then come back a write about discipline. You make me sick and have no business commenting or interjecting on this subject. Not with your ignorance blaring like a beacon. You have no idea. Autistic children are also not referred to as the Autistics. Ignorant Ass.
You’re the one who is blinded. Adam race has struck a child at the mass. He’s over six feet tall and 225 pounds and still growing. He could have killed that child and you don’t care.
He terrorized some poor girl and you don’t care.
His family ties him with ropes and you don’t care.
He almost injured people several times, and that doesn’t bother you at all. You’re the one who is ignorant, and worse you’re so tied into defending Autistic people you can’t conceive of them being dangerous, which is as dehumanizing as anything you’re accusing me of.
What if it were you and your family standing in front of the car he tried to steal? What if it was your child he assaulted? Your daughter he pulled onto his lap and groped? Would you angrily attack people writing about the danger he posed then?
Of course you would. You’re a rank hypocrite willing to endanger other people’s families to promote your cause (whatever it is) but if a similar situation happened in your community you’d likely be demanding action.
And if you could read (which you clearly can’t) you’d see that I didn’t use the term “Autistics” I said “The Autistic” which would include Autistic children and adults. Or do you think there are no Autistic adults, or in this case young adults. Or are you saying Adam should be referred to as an “Autistic child†even when he’s 42.
If you’re going to correct my grammar at least transcribe it correctly, moron.
“He terrorized some poor girl and you don’t care.”
Sally did not say that, so where is that coming from? I love it when people just invent unrelated arguments when they are challenged on something and they have no good response. What she did say is that you don’t understand Autism, and considering you said this, she’s right:
“I’m no expert on Autism but not disciplining a 225 pound kid who likes to raise a little hell just doesn’t seem like an option, especially in an environment where people can get hurt. But I guess that means I’m being bigoted against the Autistic because I don’t think Autism is an excuse for this”
That’s unbelievably ignorant, and in your words, bigoted. And yet, the truth is that Adam does need intensive behavioral training to decrease his bad behaviors in public. There is a therapy that sometimes works called ABA. I don’t know if Adam has received any therapy.
I think Sally’s fury at your response is the implication that Adam is akin to a normal child who is choosing to behave badly and will “straighten up” with a good swat to the behind. Surely, you couldn’t have meant that, because only the most stupid people would believe that.
I think you probably meant he needs to be trained not to behave that way. If it’s what you meant, then you’re right, but others need to understand Adam isn’t choosing to behave this way.
You’re both illiterate. I know Adam isn’t “normal” but I also know that his Autism doesn’t give his family, or the Autism groupies trolling my site, a free pass for the damage he can, and will, cause.
Both of you are attacking me but ignoring the actual point, Adam will kill someone if this continues. Whether his parents are getting him the treatment he needs or not is secondary to the safety of the others around him.
Adam is a special case because his large size makes his “bad behaviors” literally dangerous. It’s not an unrelated argument to say that the sympathy of rational adults should be with the child he struck and the girl he groped, unless the argument you and “Sally” are making is that stating the obvious, that the Church has a responsibility to keep the community safe and has the right to ban anyone they want from their private property, is in some way the main issue of this post.
Neither of you care about the people Adam has, and will, hurt. It’s tragic that Adam is Autistic, but is that really mitigation for the kind of damage he can cause? Would you call me bigoted if I said a schizophrenic who was violent and sexually aggressive needs his care takers to step up to the plate and be responsible enough to control him? How about a Manic Depressive? A drug addict?
In all those cases you’d want the people around him to be guaranteed that he won’t attack them, and that assurance would need to come from the people who trotted him around. But for some reason an Autistic teen built like a wrestler gets the free pass from you while the child he attacked lives in fear.
Instead of calling me names why not deal with the issue at hand? Adam’s parents are unable to keep him and the people around Adam safe. This is madness. That said, what should they do? Continue allowing Adam to act out in ways that will surely end in him getting hurt or hurting someone else? And should the Church allow a person who is dangerous to be inflicted on their membership?
Or you and “Sally” can continue to call me names because it makes you feel good about your life, you lack of success, the fact that no one loves you, etc. That’s much more fulfilling, I’m sure, than reasonable debate.
You are selectively picking out prejudicial comments from one article.
Here are some other points I’ve culled from various articles on this situation:
This family attended this church for 12 years before this became an issue with the arrival of a new pastor.
They knew he could be disruptive, so they sat in the cry room or in the back pew, and left early.
The pastor visited, and accused them of not disciplining him.
Ironically, this mother was honored by the diocese a couple of years ago specifically for her work in promoting the rights of people with autism, and for promoting their full inclusion in the life of the church.
This family is clearly doing the best they can, and are well known for their work in this area. This seems to me to be a case of a belligerent pastor who came in and wants to just throw his own authority around without bothering to understand the history and the needs of a particular family.
You’re selectively ignoring the most important parts of the article. I’m not sure why but certainly you can’t mean to imply that the family being long time church goers gives them the right to endanger other parishioners?
Even when sitting in the back the incidents of violence happened. In fact taking Adam into the “cry room” where churches have parents bring small children seems inordinately dangerous to me given that he’s so large and so violent.
The pastor isn’t the issue, nor should it be for you, the issue should be the child he assaulted. The issue should be the teen he pulled onto his lap and groped. The issue should be the people whose car he tried to steal. The issue should be the people in front of that car who might have been run down.
The mother receiving accolades for working for the rights of inclusion for the Autistic doesn’t make the blow Adam gave some child any less painful does it?
The family doing the best they can doesn’t make the girl he molested (and if he wasn’t Autistic Adam would have been arrested and charged with sexual battery or something similar) feel any better and doesn’t make him safer around other girls.
Your thesis is that Adam’s needs come before everyone around him, including people he abuses. I’m sorry but that’s just not the case. Adam’s story may be tragic, but it will be more tragic if everyone pretends his family has this situation well in hand and Adam injures someone.
But really “BC” be honest. You simply don’t care about the people he’s attempted to hurt. Why? Because they’re Catholic or because blurting out vapid defenses of an Autistic person gives you some sort of cache with the hippies you hang around?
Wow, you just didn’t read a word I said, did you?
You are the one who is illiterate and stupid as fucking hell, since you’re too stupid to figure out I never said he has a license to run through the church.
Can you actually figure out the point that I made, or is that too hard for you? Whoops, that was a rhetorical question.
Stupid dick.
That’s not really what a rhetorical question is.
A rhetorical question would be: So, just how classy is “Vicki” anyway? They’re usually not an either/or because they then lose their dramatic effect. But that’s nether here nor there.
Your foul mouth (evidence of a small mind) is distracting. Perhaps I missed you point when you said:
“That’s unbelievably ignorant, and in your words, bigoted. And yet, the truth is that Adam does need intensive behavioral training to decrease his bad behaviors in public. There is a therapy that sometimes works called ABA. I don’t know if Adam has received any therapy.
I think Sally’s fury at your response is the implication that Adam is akin to a normal child who is choosing to behave badly and will “straighten up†with a good swat to the behind. Surely, you couldn’t have meant that, because only the most stupid people would believe that.
I think you probably meant he needs to be trained not to behave that way. If it’s what you meant, then you’re right, but others need to understand Adam isn’t choosing to behave this way.”
All of which I take to mean that the actual text of the post, the story of a 6ft tall 225 pound boy who is uncontrollable, is secondary to whether or not I allow your fellow Adam Race groupie to insult me. It’s odd that two people presenting themselves as defenders of Adam are, in their own way, as out of control as he is.
If you disagreed with my analysis, which you now claim you don’t, why not do it sans comments about how ignorant and stupid I am. Is it because you’re a bit immature?
Instead you’re spitting hairs and applying the meaning you want to my words. Adam, Autistic or not, cannot be allowed to endanger people. That is the discipline of speak of. That is the discipline you and your ilk are against.
I welcome your comments, but leave the potty mouths on DailyKos where they belong.
I was there and saw Adam ask his foreign exchange sister to sit on his lap. He was gentle, did not touch her inappropriately at all, and she sat on his lap while smiling. The priest made a false allegation against him, maybe because he couldn’t deal with the fact that she freely decided to remain living in this home for the school year. she is a tall slender girl who obviously never felt endangered by him. And what about his younger sisters? They don’t seem to mind their big autistic brother?
I was there and saw Adam ask his foreign exchange sister to sit on his lap. He was gentle, did not touch her inappropriately at all, and she sat on his lap while smiling. The priest made a false allegation against him, maybe because he couldn’t deal with the fact that she freely decided to remain living in this home for the school year. she is a tall slender girl who obviously never felt endangered by him. And what about his younger sisters? They don’t seem to mind their big autistic brother? Perhaps this priest is lying about a lot more than you want to believe. How many priests have been pedophiles? Is it impossible for them to be liars?
If the priest is a liar why would the family want to remain in the church?
And what about the other incidents, the striking of the child the cars? Are those lies as well?
I don’t buy it. There seems to be a lot of minimizing of Adam’s behavior and no sympathy for the people he has, and will continue, to hurt. Autism is tragic, but suffering from Autism doesn’t mean that his actions can be defended to the end.
Will the Autistic community be better served if Adam is let back in and kills someone?
Carol Race is a very obstinate woman. I wish she would just stay home and spend her time and energy on raising her family. Taking care of Adam and fighting all these allegations is robbing her family of her time and energy. I thought Adam needed routine. What kind of a routine is this merry go round she is on. I do not view Carol as a good example of a Christian.
One newspaper article said what will your end game be? Raising awareness about autism or raising Cain?
“I do not view Carol as a good example of a Christian.”
I don’t think the issue is whether you would view Carol as a good Christian, more to the point is would Jesus. Since his ministry included prostitutes, criminals, and the demon possessed, I doubt that being “well behaved” was the criteria he was looking for in a follower. Jesus was very compassionate to the mentally ill and healed all of them that were brought to him. Since his primary teaching was to be compassionate to those in need, do you really think His concern here would be making sure that a bunch of middle-class lip service Sunday attendees got a chance to stand in a building and sign some songs?
If people don’t want this boy in church, that’s their issue. But please don’t defend it by even implying they are still good Christians. That is not how God defines Christianity.
And just FYI, Christianity is not obligatory. I don’t understand why people who don’t believe in it’s teachings insist on calling themselves by the name. There are plenty of other clubs people can join if they can’t find something better to do with their Sunday mornings.
Certainly you don’t mean to imply that being concerned for the safety of others is un-Christian? The boy is bigger (and stronger no doubt) than most men and has struck children and attempted to hijack cars. You’re saying the Christian thing to do is put the rest of the people in danger to avoid some hurt feelings?
I’m not a Christian myself, mostly because of people like you who claim I should Martyr myself at every turn, but I’m pretty sure Jesus would have cured the boy so he could sit in the Church and not be a danger to others. I’m also sure that if there was a Jesus he’d be fine having the boy accept communion in private, since he’d not want anyone to be hurt. Or am I mistaken?
Prostitutes and other criminals can control themselves, this boy cannot and he’s able to serious injure people around him. Do you just not care about that?
“Certainly you don’t mean to imply that being concerned for the safety of others is un-Christian? The boy is bigger (and stronger no doubt) than most men and has struck children and attempted to hijack cars. You’re saying the Christian thing to do is put the rest of the people in danger to avoid some hurt feelings?”
Why would what I think matter? You seem to believe that Christianity is a religion people make up their own rules for. If people believe that, why practice it? However, if you take the Christianity Jesus put forth, then you are right regarding martyrdom. It is a big part of the religion and Christians are required to make sacrifices (up to and including their life) for the benefit of others and our faith. I doubt this boy is THAT great a danger to this congregation that he is creating martyrs right and left. He wouldn’t have a restraining order against him if he was — the police would actually do something more active. A restraining order is something you can get against anyone — I could file one against you today if I were so inclined.
The safety of the congregation would not be Christ’s primary concern — if it were the faith would have died when we were all being thrown to the lions.
Families with small children who are concerned for their safety can easily avoid this boy. The church could also set up a separate cry room so they could be welcoming to both families with crying children and this boy, who many would see as the “least of our brothers”. As Christians, especially for members of the clergy, it is their job to show how welcoming we are to the unlovely. It is not the job of the unlovely to cower at home and not make us think about who fortunate we are not to suffer as others do. It is our job to welcome them. I doubt this congregation would be more welcoming of a disruptive drunk or a hooker still dressed in her street clothes, even though Jesus fraternized with both.
You said you don’t practice Christianity or believe in it, so I am not going to bore you with endless scriptures which would explain why Jesus would not cure someone so they could sit quietly in a church. (That, by the way, was never something he expressed an interest in.) The parents explained that they went to church because it is a requirement of their faith to go on Sundays and Holy Days. I imagine they also go to give their other children a chance to attend and worship as part of a community of believers. I imagine these people feel very isolated and turned to their faith in their time of need. It’s just their bad luck they chose a bad place to do that.
I’m just not sure what your point is in all this. You clearly have little knowledge of autism and by your own admission, aren’t even Christian. So all this is to what — display publicly your lack of knowledge of mental illness? Or to display publicly your lack of knowledge in regards to the Christian faith? Or to just do the blog thing and offer an uninformed and uneducated opinion on both subjects? Certainly, that is your right. I’m just not sure why you’d want to.
First of all, I am the adult sister of a severely retarded and autistic sister. She is both taller and bigger than our mother and myself. She has gone through periods of aggressive and dangerous and violent behavior toward us and others. Therapy has never worked well, but medicine has had to assist. She usually does not intend any injury to person (I cannot say the same for objects), but that does NOT mitigate what is done in any way. I have some idea of what the Race family is and has been going through. However, it is not their right to endanger others through their wish to include Adam in every part of life. Even leaving aside the unintentional injury to a CHILD and the threat of injury to other elderly church members and the car incident of serious threat, just having to tie him up during a service is a BIG sign that something else must be done. Adam’s right to religious life does not give him the right to threaten anyone else’s wellbeing.
The fact that this family has been with that church for many years is irrelevant. Adam has grown. What was controllable and acceptable in a small child is NOT in an adult of that size. As Adam grows, the problems could easily grow worse. However, if it gets better through therapy or medicine, then the situation could be revisited. That is EXACTLY how our family dealt with our situation. Those periods of severe trouble meant that we did NOT endanger anyone else. We did NOT take her to church or even the grocery store without someone there who could control or overpower her and take her out of the dangerous situation. That seems to be impossible at this time with Adam. 6-feet and 225 lbs make him much harder to deal with.
I have sympathy for the Race family, but also for the members of that church. But what about the rest of the people in their vicinity? What about in the store or at a park or wherever? Yes, people should lock their cars at all times, but how many cars have you (general) seen left vulnerable to Adam’s entering the car, starting it up, and this time shifting it into gear? He already knows to push the gas pedal. That shift of the gears is all that was missing from a horrible accident. The fact that Adam would not mean to hurt anyone is irrelevant. Next time everyone might not be so lucky. I’m sorry, but it seems to me that if Adam is not able to learn not to enter a driver’s seat, then something must be done. And, no, I really don’t know what could or should be done, but it must be dealt with. Luckily my family never faced that particular problem with my sister.
The Races are a product of a society which sometimes goes too far in trying to accomodate people with disabilities and special needs. I worked in the field of developmental disabilities for more than ten years and I was often amazed at the unreasonable concessions made in their favor. I agree that they need more help than most but I was struck by the fact that they seem to have way more rights than the average person. Why should that be? That’s just not fair. Carol Race has come to expect people to accomodate her and her son under any circumstances at all. She is being selfish and has her head in the clouds, unless the priest is lying. The bottom line is that she should have enough pride to not go where she is not wanted and also that she should consider the needs of others. Her problems should not become the problems of other people. Adam has a huge problem. I have worked with people like this. They are disruptive, plain and simple. It’s not his fault and no one is saying it is but she is doing nothing to help him or her family. She is coming across as aggressive, bratty and closed minded. And so too is her husband. Case closed. If I were the priest, I would have security standing in front of the doors to keep her and her family out. Some people only understand consequences. She seems to be one of those people.
The AP article stated that “The family’s home in nearby Eagle Bend has separate study rooms so the other children can read books and use crayons that Adam could otherwise destroy.” Adam is even restricted from rooms in his own home. Until or unless his more dangerous outbursts can be controlled, this family should view the rest of the world (which includes the church) the same as their home. The rest of us need a safe room away from Adam when he is in a desctructive mood. Since those moods cannot be predicted, he should not be placed in situations where he cannot be quickly controlled or easily restrained.
Yet another reason for me to dislike the catholic church. They are discriminating against that boy and I hope those parents pursue this matter as far as they can. Any one who supports this decision needs to be educated because they are clearly ignorant.
Let’s not limit this to the Catholic Church. How would you react if a visitor to your next-door neighbor ran into your yard and began destroying everything in your yard and hitting your car. He is obviously in a rage. What would you do? Would you embrace him? Would you accept his behavior because he had autism? Or … would you run inside in fear and demand that his parents keep him under control? Why should any public or private gathering not expect the same? His diagnosis does not excuse his PARENT’s behavior. If the child is uncontrollable – for whatever reason (ADHD, autism, Tourette’s Syndrome. disorder of the brain or nervous system, etc.) – the parents have an obligation to protect both the child and the unsuspecting public. There are respite caregivers if the parents want to attend church or go out elsewhere. They have a respite room for their other children – why not the public?
But Kelly, is it discrimination to care for others safety? He hit a child and he’s the size of a large adult, he could severely injure/kill a small child. Is the Catholic Church trying to maintain a safe environment for ALL its members’ discrimination?
MaggieB-
So in other words you don’t care about the safety of others.
My point is that a violent sexually aggressive 13-year-old boy who is 6ft+ and 225lbs is dangerous to children. You’re claiming that to be a good Christian the people there should accept their children being assaulted and groped, their cars hijacked and anything else the Race family allows. I think you’re likely theologically correct, but I know you’re morally bankrupt.
So if I were schizophrenic (and I’m a big boy myself) and my wife wanted me to go to church, but I hit people, groped girls and once bolted out of church to try to steal a car, you’d sanctimoniously tell the congregation to grim and bear it? Until when? Until someone is dead?
And you’re wrong on restraining orders. You have to prove to a court a restraining order is necessary, meaning you’d need a reasonable amount of evidence that a person’s proximity to you would be harmful. If you’re faking restraining orders you’re breaking the law and belong in jail.
The police don’t arrest children (I suspect especially Autistic ones) unless someone is going to press charges and pursue the case. You may (or may not) know your scripture, but you don’t know much about how the world works. Many people who commit minor crimes are not arrested. There are places where being caught smoking pot will only get you a ticket. Your nonsensical theory that the police would arrest someone if they were dangerous is flippant at best.
Why don’t you just admit that you simply don’t care if Adam hurts people? That you are, in essence, happy to have others abused by him because it fulfils some misanthropic need you have to punish your co-religionists? I suspect that a few years from now when Adam rapes/kills someone you’ll be posting comments on blogs saying the victim had it coming.
The family was offered the chance to have the Church come to them basically, and didn’t take because like you they believe that if they must have a “cross to bear” they should inflict it on others. Adam is violent and dangerous, and if he wasn’t Autistic (and perhaps a middle class White?) you’d never let him near you or your families.
I would like to know the fathers opinion on the issue at hand. As I read this article with my husband he was so angered that a man would even possibly let his son hurt another person, young or adult. What would happen if their own child was hurt by another child severely, would this father say ‘oh but that is o.k. it was not meant to harm, it was an accident’. When Adam sends anyone to the hospital would everyone who supports the mothers endeavors have a different view? so far thank you Jesus this has not happened. I know that my daughters have the right to a safe upbringing and the best that I can give them in any setting. What makes it the right and tenacity of others to bring a dangerous child into any situation whether any disability is occurring or not. I agree that when he was younger it was probably appropriate for him ‘Adam’ to be included but as he grows larger it seems not. Please also stop making this a whole Autistic issue. This issue is specific to this family and this child. Not about all autistic individuals. I understand that the mother wants her son included but wanting does not preclude getting what we want just as we have to teach our children.
I agree Carrie. This is about parental responsibility.
In response to the fact that the first 12 years was tolerated by the other priest . . . Obviously he has grown ALOT and although, I feel sorry for the family, something needs to be done. I would ask the question to the mother, “How can you humiliate your son by having to tie him up etc”
Just, leave him at home and know that Jesus will save him in his living room just as easily as in the church. I mean . . . it’s Jesus right, He’s the man!
So, if I went to this church, sat in the back pew, made howling noises, rocked around, had to have my teenage daughter and then wife take turns sitting on my lap to “calm me down,” and then ended up having to be bound hand and foot because I was physically out of control, no one would have a problem with this because I was just being a Good Catholic by attending Mass? No one would think I was being colossally inconsiderate and distracting? Where’s the common sense here? The Races seem to believe their rights supercede the rights of those who wish to worship with the proper decorum of a church service. Sure, the “kid” might not mean any harm but his family is not teaching him proper behavior by acting as disruptively–sitting on him, tying him up–as he does.
P.S. I only act that way on Saturday nights…..*smiles*
Well, wow this is way to much. I am not catholic, but i am a christian, i do have a serverly challenged 13 year old girl, she is like a 1 year old, she is so strong and she is bigger than a regurlar 13 year old so i have to watch her 24/7 because like a baby she puts everything in her mouth and can choke. When she plays she is rough and can hurt someone. She is part of everything we do as a family going out, beach, vacations everything, but there are things that i know i can do with her, like going to the movies, but the reason i dont take her is because i want her to be confortable and that’s not for her. I don’t get to go to church very much because that is not a place where she coudl be still and not make noise and because i have to think what i one year old would like to to? well that would not be one. The other thing is that for US this works but it doesnt mean that it works for everyone. I dont think we should be JUDGING this family at all, you are not in her shoes so you and i dont know what is really going on. One other thing i just feel that the church is going to far with the restraining order. The house of God is for EVERYONE, what does everyone mean? NOT the mentally chanllenge? not the peple that make noise while the pastor is talking. If anyone should know what this means don’t you guys think the pastor should know that? I tha was me i would not go to that church but is not for them to tell me what i have to do.
I just think that everyone is forgetting where this is happening is CHURCH. There is no reason for name calling or putting down anyone we all have opinions, but if you dont know what it is to live with a child like this i would maybe suggest you learn a little about it. Please don’t feel bad for me or anyone that has children like this i love my girl and i would probably do the same thing this family is doing if i was told what to do. I just have to question the priest (sorry i called him pastor earlier) what is he thinking about? there are ways to go about things and i really dont think this is right. Where is the love, understanding? as christians we are to be like Jesus, i dont see in this case. God bless all nations…
Someone wise once said, “The rights of my fist end where the rights of your face begin.” I’ll apply that to the situation and conclude Adam has the same right as anyone else to attend Mass–until he becomes an incontinent, sexually acting, uncontrollable lummox. Autism is NOT an excuse to run amok!
Remember, the family wasn’t excommunicated, they were just asked to let the quieter parishoners enjoy the Mass as it was intended. Alternative arrangements were offered and snubbed–until now, the Race family was an accepted part of the congregation.
Trust me, God will understand this time if they catch Mass on the Catholic Channel. At least then, He won’t have to worry about 225 lbs of uncontrolled 13 year old fury being foisted upon His followers.
Andrea-
Did you read the article? Adam hits children and gropes people. He attempts to steal cars. Do you think other people should be forced to accept the risk of having their children injured, their vehicles wrecked, their wives and children molested just because you feel sorry for the Races?
Are you saying Adam is more important than the other children there?
I do not view Carol as a good example of a Christian.
Posted on May 26th 2008. I made this statement because Carol is college educated in theology. This mother is actually a professional Roman Catholic theologian. My view is she is pushing people to have things in the church her way. I feel she is the opposite of humble. I rate a Christian in part by being HUMBLE. I can almost imagine that she would butt heads with a priest because of her schooling in theology. She knows her stuff and could possibly be challenging the priest. I have given some thought to – why live so far away from any town, neighbors? (boundaries) Why does each child have there own study rooms, that can be locked to prevent Adam from entering and possibly destroying their books and crayons? There are boundaries in place in their home. The priest has the right to place boundaries in his home – the church.
I just happened to be at a church today, in Clarissa, MN. Carol Race and her 3 daughters, as well as her other son; not the serverly autistic one;
were in attendance at Mass. Someone told me after Mass, Carol made a point to go to the Priest in the back of church- to the sacristy. I wonder what on earth she needs to be visiting with this priest for? He was not taking confessions today, and I noticed there were children of someone elses, and some other adults back there. There was a gathering of folks in the basement, and milling around visiting after mass outside. As I was outdoors, someone stated that ‘someone else should be in there with Fr. Maciej and Carol Race.” I kind of waited around, checked out what was going on in
the facilities downstairs, noticed Carol Race was leaving. I did notice, that there was someone else who stayed with the priest- Fr. Maciej for an extended period of time. She apparently is a assistant or something, as this same woman was ‘around a lot’ during the service. My wondering here, is what is Carol up to? Why do people see the family at masses 2 times on Sunday’s in different towns? Why does ‘someone else’ need to be with the priest and Carol Race?
I have a child who is austitic and am constantly cricitized for not controlling his behavior. The worst cricitism seems to come from so called Christians and educators. You have no idea what it’s like to have an autistic child who has behavior problems. You lose friends and family because people think you can just be firm with them and they will behave if you talk softly to them. My child is hugh is size too due to the meds he has to take. If he did not take them he would be even more violent. It’s so isolating and sad and appaling how people treat me and my family. Yet people call themselves Christians. I don’t know anything about the Race family or case but I can tell you from raising a child with austism you are ignorant about Autism, have no idea what it’s like to raise a child with Autism, their is much heartache and the pain because of people like you. Mainly though you have no love or compassion. I am thankful for my Parish Priest who told me ” he is no expert on Autism but he would like for me to explain more”. He is only person that acknowleged he couldn’t possibly understand Autism more then me or my husband.
But again, are you saying that other people must risk their children’s safety so that you can not feel isolated? I’ve never put forward that I know the Races could or could not control their son, but I will put forward that violent behavior can lead to injury or death.
No one should have to take their child to the hospital or bury their child so that your feeling aren’t hurt. You do not have the right to endanger others just so you can get out the house. The priest offered to give the family Mass at their home. Why not do that?
And I’m not a Christian so try to guilt someone else.
I don’t comment very often after reading articles, but I wanted to comment on this one. It seems to me that there are two different arguments that are being presented here, The author is contending that safety is the paramount issue here, and that the rights of the child and family are secondary. The opposite response is that inclusion is Christian, and that while Autism is not a controllable, it is our duty as a compassionate society to accomadate this family.
Both arguments are not reconcilable if both sides do not meet in the middle. And from what I have read, it seems that the Race family are the only party who wants 100% accomadation. If the church has come to a point where it is not possible to continue to safely accomadate the child’s presence in the church, it should be the church’s responsibility as Christians to find an alternative accomadation. And if the Priest did go to the Race’s home to offer multiple alternatives (such as sending a Priest to the Race’s home) then the church’s responsibility is met. The Priest has made that gesture to reach out halfway to the family. Unfortunately it seems as if the Race family is not willing to compromise. All of the other issues aside, it seems as if that unwillingness to compromise by the Race family is the only real sticking point here.
No compassionate person agrees that children or adults with any affliction should be discriminated against solely on the basis of that condition. Nor should ignorance of those conditions be an excuse to discriminate. However, society must frequently choose between protecting itself and balanceing the harm in the measures necessary to protect itself; versus accomadating individual members of society’s needs and their rights. I think that the Race’s have failed in their responsibility as members of society by refusing to accept any alternative accomadation for their son besides full acceptance.
I hope that the end of this story is happier than the beginning. Hopefully the Race family will stop only asking for unconditional compassion for their son; and truly understand the compassion necessary for the victim’s of this child’s previous behavior. Hopefully both sides will agree that Christ would want the Race family to be able to worship freely, while their son is exposed to the light of God at home, or in a safe alternative setting. Remember, that all the families of this parrish are hurting, and true compassion for others manifests itself in compromise, not conflict.
Adam Race doesn’t belong at any church because of him being disruptive and what’s he trying to accomplish by uriniating during services seeming like what went on at a Rialto x-rated theater in Minneapolis that closed in 1991.
Autism is a medical condition, not a fucking civil right’s movement. Yes, people BAWWING at the blogger’s original post, that sentence was directed at you. I’ve noticed that some of you are from the Neurodiversity group, the most hypocritical human rights group I’ve ever had the displeasure of running into.
If Adam Race was a psychopath, would you oh-so passionately try to justify his behavior? If Adam was a Schizophrenic, would you even care? If Adam was Mentally Retarded would he even need to be stood up for? The answer is no, because you wouldn’t care if Adam was non-Autistic and still doing all this bullshit. In fact, you’d probably be one of those people saying that he should be banned from the church.
It’s people like you that reinforce the “Whiny Neurodiversist” sterotype, which is actually true for the most part because all you people do is whine-whine-whine without actually doing anything of signifigance.