This glorified welfare queen is Torina, the stay at home foster mother from Minnesota who runs a blog called Busy Intersection which is largely dedicated to garnering sympathy for herself by claiming her 13-year-old non-biological daughter is a mentally ill hellion who doesn’t love her enough.

Don’t believe me? Here’s some of her post called I’m Already Tired Out:

She came home bitching and screaming. You know who. Not even a moment’s relief. Oh no. We could not be blessed with that. She didn’t ask how the boys adoptions went. Didn’t care. I did mention that it was a nice ceremony and the boys tried to excitedly tell her about it but she just talked about the respite house and Hannah Montana and Wii.
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Sometimes, I wonder if respite is really that good of a thing. When Tara is around all the time, I can tolerate the bitching and screaming much better than the first day when she comes back. Then it feels like an emotional train hits me.
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Those days that she was gone, I felt free…liberated from the emotional heartsuck that she pulls me into. I hate that it is like this. I hate that I don’t feel that same over joyous love and adoration for that kid as when I first met her. With my other kids, my love grows. With Tara, it is more like a commitment of advocacy rather than adoring my child. I can no longer adore someone who makes me so sad, so angry, so hopeless, so tired…all…the…time.

Now that’s good mothering! In case you’re confused as to what’s going on, according to Torina her daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder and Cerebral Palsy. I suspect she’s also suffering from her mother’s Munchhausen by Proxy since much of her blog details her attempts to get her daughter on medication even though doctors feel the child doesn’t need them. Anyway, when you adopt a child with R.A.D. and F.A.S.D. you can go one of two ways. The first is to provide the child with lots of attention, love and caring.

Torina went the second way.

That is, she sends the kid to respite care even though that will negatively effect a child with R.A.D. because she and her husband “need a break” and then she likes to blog about how awful it is to be around the child.Then she adopted two other children who she lavishes more praise and love on than the daughter. It’s like Torina is trying to raise a serial killer.

So her latest anti-Tara (the daughter) post was basically about her shock and heartbreak at Tara’s reaction to coming home from the place she’s sent when Mommy just can’t look at her anymore and being met with the good news of her new siblings’ adoption ceremony being the Greatest Party Ever!!! Who would have guessed a teen would react badly to that?

I could have, and I of course left a mannered and temperate response in her comment section:

Um. Yeah. Is Tara a teenager? Is she a teen who A)has medical issues that makes it hard for her to fit in and B) knows you feel this way.

I’ve worked with problem children and teens for years before and I’ve found teens want two things. The first is to feel respected and the second is for you to spend a certain amount of time just listening to them. Not doing “therepy” or trying to “heal” them, just listening.

Have you or others here who claim these kids who have no choice in the matter but to be in the houses of strangers who may or may not be decent people (and no offense but because most Fosters I’ve met don’t work…) ever stepped back and looked at the kid as a individual having a tough time and not a project child or a state gifted love projector? Because the post and comments don’t sound like it.

[…]

Do you think that in her mind being sent to “respite” house or whatever sends her a message that you don’t really dig her? That’s probably hard for a kid to have to go away because their foster family can’t stand to be around them…

[…]

How would you feel if your husband sent you somewhere to “take a break” and when you guys reunited he was ecstatically happy about the time you were gone? That’s kinda how Tara feels.

Blah, blah, blah. Like I said, temperate and mannered. Here’s Mother of the Year’s response via email:

You are a fucking idiot. Don’t you dare read one solitary post and form an opinion about me. I talk to my daughter every day. You say you have worked with kids? Well, then you haven’t LIVED with a child like my daughter. You get a break. You are an asshole. And I am not her foster parent, though it shouldn’t matter if I was. I am her MOTHER. You, on the other hand, are a motherfucker. You think ICE CREAM is going to solve being severely disabled??? MORON. I have had a million bowls of ice cream with Tara. I “shoot the shit” with her all the time.

Fuck you.

Torina

One wonders how Torina can “shoot the shit” with her all the time if Tara gets shipped of to respite care on a regular basis? I’d also ask if Torina kisses her daughter with that mouth but we already know she doesn’t.

But what gets me is the commenters on Torina’s blog who seem to think she’s some sort of great mother for shipping her disabled daughter off whenever she isn’t giving out enough love to fill that sucking void Torina calls a soul. If I’m in the minority in suggesting that bad-mouthing your child on the Internet isn’t great parenting, we truly are in the end of times.

Torina and her husband’s awesome parenting skills have also led to their daughter acting out sexually on the school bus. Something Mother of the year thought was an interesting tidbit to publish on a blogspot blog, because, you know, one day that kid will grow up and try to move on with her life.

You get the picture, Torina shouldn’t be a foster mother. She’d be more at home blogging for Pandagon with that potty mouth of hers. The question is why Minnesota Child Services allows this weirdo to adopt kids anyway. People who know me know my mother works for social services in New York and I’ve seen her take kids from people for less. Is Minnesota so bereft of potential fosters that they’ll let some woman with no personal boundaries adopt special needs children?

Torina has put up a little blog post about yours truly, which would annoy me but a link is a link. Go to the comments to see my buddy SMP rip them a new one, and Torina’s commenters claim I should be blocked and/or arrested for giving them the business. Sad who raises children these days, isn’t it?

Surprise! She banned me. Nothing like shutting down debate to prove you’re right. Although she did send an apology via email. Then she promptly set her blog to private.